Hiding from mom
7th of April, 2024
Dream Series
The dreamer is a male of 30. He is temporarily living at his parents and he is about to meet his girlfriend with whom he wants to rent a home.
I was at my parent's placeand I had to go to Madrid probably to the airport, and from there to Amsterdam (I was living there). My parents left for holidays and I still haven't decided how to get there. I was very stressed about it because there were so many ways to get there. So I was just waiting. Then I was with a group of people, friends of my friends, they were playing poker and I was asking for help from them. They were trying to help me by giving me solutions. Then my luggage was ready but I didn't have the pants I wanted so I had to go back to my parent's place to pick them up.
First dream
Associations
- parents place — clean, a place i don't want to be in, i still feel at home tho. I don't have the same emotional connection to this house as other people. It's not really my house.
- Madrid — University, my flat in Madrid. Emotionally it's positive, I had my little rhythm, was going to the library, intellectual, artistic - close to me.
- Amsterdam — When I moved there, it was in the idea to get a job and be mature. Then I was with my girlfriend there too.
- poker players — they are able to exert emotional control when needed and to deal with difficult situations
- luggage — travelling, something annoying, I would like to travel with a backpack.
- pants — something you wear, something that fits you. They need to fit well, more important than with shirts, to feel good, comfortable.
Locale
The locale of the dream represents the current state of the dreamer. He is in a place he doesn't want to be in, where he feels emotionally disconnected. Moreover, dreaming about the house we grew up in can indicate that the problem that the dream is addressing is carried over from back then and unresolved. Once we outgrow our past, we dream less and less about the place in which we grew up.
Exposition
Then he needs to go to Amsterdam, which the dreamer associated to growing up, maturity and adulthood. Furthermore he associated the relationship with his partner which also presses him into stabilizing himself and acting more mature.
The dream then indicates that to get to Amsterdam he must first go through Madrid. In this way the unconscious is showing him that maturity is achieved not in spite of being one's own creative self, but through it. After discussing this with the dreamer, it was clear that he associates adulthood and responsibility to something dull and boring, so the unconscious is showing that he should be integrating his creative self into the adulthood journey.
Peripateia
Next, the dreamer is in a state of confusion as to the ways in which he should get to Amsterdam. He doesn't know how to become mature. The unconscious provides the answer in the image of the poker players: you need to control your emotions. This is meaningful because in his personal life the dreamer would sometimes get emotionally overwhelmed.
Lysis
The lysis does not bring the resolution of the problem, which would be the arrival of the dreamer to Amsterdam or at the very least the initiation of the trip. Instead, there is a regression back to the initial state. After his luggage is finished, he realizes his pants are missing and he goes back to the parental house to fetch them. This would translate into a tendency to go back to the comfort zone and fail to undertake the journey towards maturity.
I was with Cristina at my parent's place and then I heard the garage door, so I thought about hiding her but I actually presented her as a friend. Then my mother came as well. We were in my room with Cristina and I was rubbing against her. It was all very sensual but there were people outside (family) doing things.So when we got out of the room, my mother said "be careful with the angles" meaning on what angle I'm doing stuff because people outside could see me.She wasn't happy that I brought a girl home.
Second dream
Associations
- Cristina — someone I played a sexual role with, which makes it rather fake.
Locale
The dream starts once more in the parental home, in the company of a woman with whom the relationship consisted of playing sexual roles and nothing else besides. To play a sexual role is to enact a fantasy for the sake of pleasure. But if the connection lacks emotional and spiritual depth, it can leave one feeling even more empty, which is what happened with the dreamer. If we think about this woman as the dreamer's anima, we can extrapolate that the relationship to the anima - the creative and life giving factor in man - lacks spiritual depth. That the dreamer is seeking to satisfy his fantasies, in the manner typical of a puer aeternus, which can never truly fulfill one.
Exposition
Then we have the problem of hiding the girl. In the actual life, the dreamer has never presented any of his girlfriends to his parents, and a similar scenario where they catch him with a girlfriend which he presents as a friend, did happen.
Peripateia
The mother cautions the dreamer to be careful with the angles, so that others do not see. It's as if what the dreamer does is shameful and has to be hidden.
Lysis
The mother is unhappy that the dreamer brought the girl home. The interesting part is that the dreamer's mother would not behave this way. This is our indication that here we are dealing with a mother complex that was born in the dreamer, and which is unrelated to the real mother.
The dream mother is jealous of the girl. She wants to keep the son all for herself. The mother in a man's dream is yet another aspect of the anima, the first form that the anima takes in the life of a boy. Then Jung describes different stages of anima development in the man's life. The first aspect is Eve, representing fertility and sexuality, the most primitive aspect of the feminine. Next she gets differentiated into Helen (intellectual), Mary (spiritual) and finally Sophia which integrates all the aspects.
That the mother aspect of the anima keeps the dreamer in a state of childhood fantasy, could prevent him from developing his anima to a more refined state, and explain why the girl in the dream is someone with whom he had a shallow relationship that revolved around sexuality. In real life, anima development would mean that the dreamer's libido and life impulse is healthy and appropriate for his age.
Synthesis
We concluded together that both his dreams refer to hesitations towards going fully into life and maturing, and that the pants and the mother are synonyms referring to a mother complex. Our interpretation was confirmed the next day, when he dreamed that he has a fight with his mother that is so bad, one of those fights that lead to a permanent split. In mythical imagery this would be the same as slaying the dragon. It's important to note though that even if the dreamer sees himself doing the right thing, this does not mean yet that the deed is done. He needs to focus on the problem and tackle it actively, otherwise it's likely that the same dream imagery will get repeated, until the problem is finally solved.